I had such a great night with my kids. I picked them up and took them to play miniature golf. It was hilarious. It's something we hadn't done before. I was happy and playful with them..which I am usually..just not this relaxed with it all. I think they sensed the difference too.
Paul met up with us later in the evening and had pizza with us. I wanted to get a feel of how things would be if I was single and with a guy..thought why not. The kids liked him a lot. It wasn't as weird as I thought it would be..but then I feel safe with Paul so that might have been why it felt ok.
The huge bad point with the whole evening was dropping them off. The kids were upset that I wasn't staying..that was really upsetting. Also my wife was all dolled up like she had been out. That pissed me off a little..but really..can I be pissed off at her after the shit I have done? She said she just went to have a few drinks with one of her girlfriends. It still angers me though. I know she was either messing with me or trying to show my what I would be missing. She really did look hot. I actually forgot all about men when I saw her. She was always the only girl that was able to do that to me.
Hi Christian,
ReplyDeleteFirst time I have commented, but found your blog just a few weeks ago. I am married w/ 3 kids, a masculine gay man, out to my wife since April and dealing with the emotions and feelings that associate with all of this. I am moving into my own place Nov 1st and last hurdle is telling my kids whom I love dearly and am a active presence in their lives. The scenario of dropping them off and the emotions you felt is going to be very hard and this is something that I have already thought about. The one thing I know is time will make it easier and I know that I will be a happier and more engaged dad afterwards. Right now I just feel like there is a black cloud following me around everywhere I go.....and I just cant seem to out run the f'n thing. LOL
Good luck to you and keep writing buddy.......its helpful for you but to others as well.