Like I wrote last week..my wife went out with some girlfriends and Ryan came over to my place to hang and have some beers. We were both a little awkward at first, but that went away fairly quickly. It was an interesting experience. He really got to see me in my married world..he said he is way more into me now that he saw me with my kids. I think I understand that..but that means he is REALLY into me..I don't know how that will work out just now. I'm not against it though..it is hard not to be close to him.
It was weird how comfortable it all was. We ended up making out for a while on the couch after the kids were in bed. ..oh so bad..I know..but it just happened. Well..I know why it happened. I told him about my history with Paul and he seemed to get a little insecure. ..so me being the one to always please..let us get a little more close then I would have preferred being that we were in my home. He is not pressing the sex issue too much though..other then his usual innuendos..I like that about him. Makes me trust him even more.
I'm a little worried that he is getting too close too fast though..I am trying to balance the relationship but I don't want to push him away. I can kind of feel a Paul repeat happening..instead this time I'm married and not just looking to fuck around. I really don't want anything to mess things up.
How do I keep him as a friend if he seems to want to get closer..? I'm afraid to bring anything up would cause tension.
Advice?
Do you really need to bring anything up? Ryan's happy to flirt with you, and yes, he wants more, but as long as you consistently tell him no to sex and yes to friendship, he'll stay around just because he likes you. I don't think you need to worry much about him. You might have to worry about yourself and your emotions. Not much advice to give there. You just have to be certain of what you want and stick to that. When you start to waffle, that's when the trouble begins.
ReplyDeleteI am starting to waffle..that's the problem.
ReplyDeleteWaffling is a likely path to problems and headaches - even nightmares. Make a decision to fuck around with him, or not. Going back and forth is bad for you, bad for him, and worst of all, greatly increases the chances that your wife will become suspicious that something is going on with you (because of your mood swings.)
ReplyDeleteThe more guys you fuck around with, the greater the chances you're going to be in a mess. You'll fall for more than one; more than one will fall for you; one will get jealous of the other(s) and try to punish you; the juggling will make you distracted and your wife will get suspicious; you'll be distracted and make stupid mistakes. Those are just a few of the many possible messes.
If you're going to fuck around, I suggest that you pick one guy as a friend with benefits and stick to him. Of course, that's my taste and may not be yours. In the long-run I really think that the more guys you get involved with the greater the chance that something really shitty will happen.
Of course there's always the chance that you want to get caught...