I realized its getting close to my year mark for my blog and it's crazy how different I feel now compared to when I started this process. All night I was thinking how I have completely become used to how I've been living now..just doing as I please. I enjoy it and I'm good at it. I am living two opposite ways of life at the same time. At home I am an awesome dad and good husband..even with our problems. I do all the things I need to do to keep everything running smooth. I love that part of my life. On the other side of it all..I love my experiences with the men I get involved with. It fullfills a need the I have come to except as a permanent part of me. I am comforted in the fact that there are others like me and I'm not crazy..I'm truly a normal human being and that's it. That's all I really needed to know. I still have my daily struggles..some days are good some days are bad and I still have some shit in my past that I haven't worked through ..but I have come to except that as well and everyday that goes by I will understand more and let old shit go. I'm so glad I started this blog..its helped more than I ever thought it could.
Anyway ..I will write more later.
Thanks guys!
It's amazing how often I hear this sentiment in our little corner of the blogworld..."it's helped more than I ever thought it could". Me, too. And a lot of others. It's pretty amazing how semi-anonymity can allow one to "come out", literally and figuratively.
ReplyDeleteMy anniversary is next month, and I expect I'll be writing much the same thing. It's been an amazing journey and I am happier than I've been in years.
Good to know you, Christian. And congratulations, it's a fun ride!
Peace <3
Jay
I think it is just amazing to read alot of this since I was there. And no your not crazy. I say go with the flow. Does your wife know about the side of cock? Mine didn't but I told her eventuly. I was liking dick way to much and the sex with her best friend for years didn't help either. Plus if she found out any other way, she would have blown like a rocket! Were good friends now though. Keep writing it is very intresting to read and some of it os just hot!
ReplyDeleteWhat are you going to do about your kids if she finds out and decides to leave? Are you still sleeping with her? Are you aware that STDs come in more than one form and are usually asymptomatic in women until they've caused often irreversible health problems?
ReplyDeleteI'd say you still have some "issues" to work out...
I love your story. I hope you continue.
ReplyDeleteI just discovered your blog because it is linked to another bi married blogger I follow. Congratulations on your year of effort. Like you, I have come out to myself and engaged in a series of sexual adventures with men on the side. Now I have found one terrific gay man with whom I have found what I had no idea I wanted - a very emotional, sensual, and compelling man with whom the sex is fantastic, but the connection between us is even more powerful. We call ourselves lovers, not just friends with benefits, and given my life history this was so unpredictable.
ReplyDeleteI have a rocky marriage at times like you and there are some other similarities. But we are on this path at different life stages, and I am glad you are dealing with this earlier in your life and the way it is headed it seems you will eventually come to some clear resolution about whether you are really bi or all gay, and how you can best meet your needs without being driven nuts by the sneaky secrecy it requires when you are not out. Your relationship with your life seems to accept her straight affairs, so you are positioned like Cameron of Two Lives to claim your own direction more openly....at the right time.
I will now link to your blog and try to catch up on your older posts.
A belated welcome to the world of bi married bloggers!! Happy blog anniversary!
Congratulations on the one year anniversary!
ReplyDeleteI've just kind started blogging a few months ago, and it'd be great if you checked it out or if we can exchange links.
underduhrainbows.blogspot.com
I may not be in the same situation as you, I just graduated out of college but, I think, as gay bloggers, we're kind of linked to figuring things out in the way that we do...
Wow!
ReplyDeleteNice.
Interesting blog.
Keep writing.
I just followed you.
Thanks.
=)