Wednesday, January 5, 2011
A new year...with changes.
Well it's 2011 and a new year with a lot of changes. I have been too caught up with the people in my life and the holidays..which I am glad to be done with. Way too much stress comes along with the flashiness of it all. It's very ridicules.
Anyway, here is the happenings in my world.
- Josh and I are over. He had a huge guilt trip just before Christmas and broke down about how he couldn't live a cheating lifestyle anymore. Kinda made me feel like an ass about my cheating..but in all honesty I'm glad. He was too needy for me and I don't do needy very well.
-Ryan is moving back to California at the end of next week. His parents are having a hard time running there small business and he is picking up his family and moving there to help them out. This I am sad about. He is a very good friend now and I have gotten used to him being around. I'll miss him.
-William is taking a long sabbatical to travel and figure out what he wants out of life..whatever that really means..I don't know. He seemed to have a dark cloud over him since he went to visit his family a while back. He wont talk to me about it though. He keeps telling me that he is fine, but I know he's not. Wish I could do more.
-Jon and I have had some fun hanging out and flirting a lot. Not sure what to make of him yet. He's fun to be around though.
-..and the big one being that my wife admitted to an affair on new years eve. What a way to ring in the new year huh..?? I just listened to her shit about not feeling connected anymore and was looking for attention elsewhere. I know I am completely to blame here..since I did pull away from her. I didn't tell her about my infidelity. I just started sleeping on the couch and we haven't really been speaking to each other too much this week. I'm feeling a divorce coming on strong..but that is what I want right? I would be free to do what I want. Right?? Now with it actually a real possibility..again I'm not sure what I want anymore. Damn I sound like a flake.. What's the saying? Have your cake and eat it too... I enjoy my current lifestyle far too much. That makes me such a selfish bastard. I'll figure it out..always do.
Anyway, here is the happenings in my world.
- Josh and I are over. He had a huge guilt trip just before Christmas and broke down about how he couldn't live a cheating lifestyle anymore. Kinda made me feel like an ass about my cheating..but in all honesty I'm glad. He was too needy for me and I don't do needy very well.
-Ryan is moving back to California at the end of next week. His parents are having a hard time running there small business and he is picking up his family and moving there to help them out. This I am sad about. He is a very good friend now and I have gotten used to him being around. I'll miss him.
-William is taking a long sabbatical to travel and figure out what he wants out of life..whatever that really means..I don't know. He seemed to have a dark cloud over him since he went to visit his family a while back. He wont talk to me about it though. He keeps telling me that he is fine, but I know he's not. Wish I could do more.
-Jon and I have had some fun hanging out and flirting a lot. Not sure what to make of him yet. He's fun to be around though.
-..and the big one being that my wife admitted to an affair on new years eve. What a way to ring in the new year huh..?? I just listened to her shit about not feeling connected anymore and was looking for attention elsewhere. I know I am completely to blame here..since I did pull away from her. I didn't tell her about my infidelity. I just started sleeping on the couch and we haven't really been speaking to each other too much this week. I'm feeling a divorce coming on strong..but that is what I want right? I would be free to do what I want. Right?? Now with it actually a real possibility..again I'm not sure what I want anymore. Damn I sound like a flake.. What's the saying? Have your cake and eat it too... I enjoy my current lifestyle far too much. That makes me such a selfish bastard. I'll figure it out..always do.
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